I Have a Crush...

Okay, people, let's just get this out of the way upfront. I am married, but I am not dead. I believe in my wedding vows and am devoted to Oscar, but I did not lose my vision on the day I took Oscar's name. I still notice other men. (And a few women. Hi Salma. Call me!) And being that I am an incorrigible flirt, it is not surprising that from time to time, I find myself crushing on other people. This does not make me a slut. I do not act on these crushes. But I sure as hell enjoy them.

I have recently made a good friend online. We have never met, but we talk extensively throughout the day, when he's supposed to be working and I'm supposed to be doing something other than sitting on the couch. I've e-mailed his wife, and he's instant messaged my husband and we're both secure in the knowledge that we're crazy about our respective spouses and would never do anything to jeopardize those relationships. Of course, the fact that he and his wife live across the country from Oscar and I helps, too. But the bottom line is that we're no threat to each other, which leaves us free to carry on a pretty naughty flirtation.

The other night, he was going to be working extremely late, and I was planning on being at Best Friend's house (no, she still doesn't have a name...yes, we're working on it) for the evening. He asked me to keep him occupied by sending him racy text messages to his phone. I was quite happy to oblige. It started out pretty slowly, but quickly gained momentum, until Best Friend and I were heading home from running an errand and she told me that I needed to let him know that I was heading home to watch Stargate SG-1 with her and she was not going to tolerate my attention being divided. She had a point. I'd been acting like those girls who get into relationships and promptly forget that they have friends because their whole lives are consumed by the Boyfriend and what the Boyfriend is doing. I hate those girls. And I was being one of those girls. It was quite embarrassing. Of course, that didn't prevent me from starting up with the text messages again the minute I left her house, but at least I was able to put it on hold, for, what? An hour or so? That's progress right? Whatever. I'm a loser. I own that.

Anyway, the next day, I was out running errands with Best Friend and I told him he should feel free to send me inappropriate text messages, despite the fact that I knew it would vex and annoy her. (God, I suck.) It wasn't long before I got my first message. I texted him back while waiting at a red light. I got the next one while en route to our primary destination. I started texting him back at another red light, but the light changed before I was finished. I managed to continue writing it while driving by feeling out the keypad with my fingertips. At this point, Best Friend looked at me and said, "You're not seriously text messaging him while you're driving, are you?" I grinned sheepishly as I replied, "No, of course not. Trying to text message while driving is dangerous and I would never do anything remotely like that. Besides, I just sent it." Best Friend looked at me like I had just grown another head. "You're seriously obsessed with this guy, aren't you?" Again with the sheepish grin. "Yeah....I'm obsessed. I kind of have a crush. But don't worry...I'll obsess over him for a while until he does something that pisses me off or annoys me and then all will be back to normal. I'm like this with all of my crushes." I don't know that she felt very reassured by this, but she's been my best friend for more than 10 years and less than 15. We've seen each other through worse.