Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Monday, February 20, 2006

Recent Observations

I was looking over my Firefox bookmarks today. Of the blogs I read regularly, and whose next posts I am most eagerly awaiting, a disproportionate number are written by gay or bisexual men. (I would question what this says about me, but I already know.) Not only are they well-written and thought-provoking, they update regularly. I can usually expect a post from one of them at least once a day. And really? That's my standard. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I want new content on a daily basis. There's only so many times I can watch Pete's Dragon before my brain starts to rot. So provide me some distraction, and I will follow you anywhere. I'm that easy.

2. Flirting
I have been carrying on an online flirtation with a fellow blogger. It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I love to flirt and will do so any chance I get. That said, I haven't had much of an opportunity to exercise my skills lately. I could tell that this was a problem when I started this online flirtation. I was clearly outmatched. I would be upset about that, but I have been having way too much fun. According to Oscar, I have even been girly-giggling. I think it's time to start remembering that I'm not just a wife and a mom. I'm also a woman with needs, people! And that buzz I get from flirting? I need that. I'm addicted.

3. Inferiority
One thing I noticed while getting my flirt on with my fellow blogger was that I've been neglecting some other needs too, such as my intellectual development. I'm a smart woman, but I'll be damned if I didn't feel like a kid hoping to join the adults' table as I was trading e-mails with this man. It has been somewhat disconcerting. I seem to have forgotten that I enjoy things like art and books and music. Pop culture nonsense seems to have invaded my brain and set up shop. Not that there isn't a place for pop culture nonsense. But I'd like to hope that my interests are more well-rounded than my activities would have implied lately.

Also disconcerting is the realization I have recently come to that I am a big geek. I knew I was a geek growing up. If I hadn't figured that out on my own, there were plenty of people in the more popular cliques in school to help make me aware of that fact. I guess I had hoped that once I left school, got a job in the real world, got married and bore a child, I would have outgrown my geekiness, as well. No such luck. My inner geek is alive and well. Not that I have a problem with this, per se, but it was thrown into sharper relief when I started speaking with someone who seems considerably more cultured than I. I think I'd have to have more internal fortitude than I currently possess not to question my path at this point. I'm not saying that I plan on giving up any of my geeky interests. I am relatively comfortable with who I am. There are some things I'd like to change and I'm working on those, but I'm okay with the geek. It's just that....well, when you're growing up, don't you always think you're going to be a much cooler adult than you are a kid? Finding out that you are no cooler now than you were 15 years ago is bound to make you sit back and reflect.


Post a Comment

<< Home