Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Drunken Blogging

Wheeeeeeeee! Okay, so we're not as boring as I thought. Oscar and I decided that we'd head to a local bar that serves our cider on draught and get a little nibbly to eat, instead of sitting around at home, watching bad television. So, we order a pitcher and a pizza, and manage to devour both in pretty short order and Oscar asks me if I want to get a shot. I figure, "what the hell?" I can handle it. It's not like I had wine (On another post, I'll explain why wine and I are close personal friends and yet are not good partners if I'm expected to do anything but sleep shortly after consuming it.) So we order our Slippery Nipples (which are actually the same things as Cocksucking Cowboys, by the way) and while we're talking, Oscar asks me how drunk I am. By this point, I have had a drink and a half, and a slice and a half of pizza, but I am a lightweight, so this is a legitimate question.

My answer to Oscar went something like this:
Imagine that your brain is like a glass and your intellect is the water inside the glass. My glass is about 75% full, and I can feel the water sloshing around inside the glass, but I'm still smart.

Oh yeah, I'm not a happy drunk, a mean drunk or a depressive drunk. I'm worse. I'm a philosophizing drunk. Not only am I a philosophizing drunk, but my propensity towards snorting greatly increases in direct proportion to the amount of alcohol I consume. So I will wax philosophical, find one of my observations about life and the universe outrageously funny, and start snorting as I'm laughing at myself. And this, my friends, is why I don't drink very often.

1 Comments:

At March 19, 2006 12:59 AM, Anonymous Oscar said...

Sadly, it's true. But seriously, the (future) wine post, if not entirely accurate, will have to be put in print on my own. It'll be a great read, and I'm sure cause a repetitive laugh or two.

Maybe even a snort.

 

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