A Meme For You

Thanks again to Flip (who had a brilliant post today, by the way) for tagging me with this intriguing version of the meme. In this incarnation, I answer a question, then I use my creative genius to think of another question and the people I tag answer the question and then tag other people, asking them a question. (Are we all clear? Yes? Good.) The question can be anything. And it can cause a thread conversation. (Not that I know exactly what that is...I just stole this from Flip. See him for more details.) So, I was tagged with the following question:

What is the first thing you would do (besides review your choice of news outlets) if Fox News reported that earth was unquestionably going to be destroyed by a huge meteor at midnight (your) local time?

To answer this, first you have to understand that I do not watch the news. Ever. EVER, ever. It either depresses me or angers me beyond all reason, and I just don't have time for that kind of negativity. So I would be more likely to find out that the earth was going to be destroyed by a huge meteor from one of those emergency broadcast messages right in the middle of JoJo's Circus, when they start singing the "What did you learn" song, to which I would be bobbing my head along, because really, it's just that infectious. So the VERY first thing I would do would be to look around for the hidden camera, because I don't really think it's possible to get an emergency broadcast message in the middle of JoJo's Circus, informing you of a meteor that is going to destroy earth, and immediately take it seriously.

That said, I can't say for sure what my next move would be, but it would probably be either:

A) I would start a blog post, because I would suspect that the phone lines would be busy beyond all reason, and since I know McMama checks my blog, like, all the time, I would want to get in touch with her and let the family back east know that I love them and although our time together was too short, they touched me in ways they can't even begin to imagine. Also, I would want to call dibs on Patrick Dempsey and Phil Keoghan for once we got to whatever afterlife awaits us, because I am not getting McMama's sloppy seconds.

or

B) I would run out to the store and blow every dollar I could on lobster, crab legs, sushi, frozen custard, Mint Brussels, and lots and lots of liquor. Because if I'm being blown to bits by a stupid meteor, (please pardon the language) FUCK THE DIET! The meteor, I doubt, will care if I'm carrying a few extra pounds. As a matter of fact, the meteor, if it hits in the right place, might actually shave a few of those extra pounds off of me. So I'm enjoying a nice meal before I go, thank you very much.

Regardless, I think I would end the day having mind-blowing sex with my husband as many times as humanly possible. And when we'd exhausted each other and were ready to fall asleep, I'd sneak into Turtle's room, pick him up and carry him back to bed with me. Then, I'd snuggle in between Oscar and Turtle and smile, because I couldn't think of a better way to go.

So...now that I'm all weepy thinking of my son never being able to grow up and learn proper English, I will take this opportunity to tag:

bibydays
SWCTOAFN (Seriously, dude, just frickin' post already...it's not that hard...here, I'm even giving you a built-in topic.)
and my Crush

Here's the question: If you rubbed the magic lamp and the genie appeared, for what purpose would you be using your three wishes?

I hope you guys play along!