The Myriad Ways In Which My Day Sucked

Today was really not the best day in the Cymber household. In a somewhat chronological order, here are the highlights:

1) Turtle slept in for the first time in a very long time, and yet, I could not enjoy it because I had a weird dream that woke me up early. I could have tried to fall back asleep, I suppose, but I know my body. It likes mornings. It can't wait to jump out of bed and start enjoying the day. And it stubbornly refuses to listen to the voice in my head telling me to get back into bed because opportunities like this are so rare and we should take advantage of them when we can. Stupid body. So I ended up wasting a good hour of sleep time, when I could have been dreaming about world peace or gays being given the right to marry or owning all the seasons of Stargate SG-1 on dvd. (What? My subconscious isn't completely noble.)

2) In the meantime, while I was waiting for Turtle to wake up, there is a knock on my door. 8:30 in the morning. It's a Peruvian exchange student trying to sell me educational materials for my kid. Are you KIDDING me???? For those of us who actually stay home during the day, is 8:30 really an acceptable time for someone to come to the door in order to peddle his wares? Really? The sad thing was, the stuff looked interesting, although when I saw the price tag ($80 for 6 books), I almost choked on my English muffin. The worst part? Because it DID look interesting, but because it WAS so expensive, I told the Peruvian exchange student I had to talk to my husband about it. And since he couldn't trust me, obviously, to call him back or otherwise track him down, he's coming back tomorrow night to talk with Oscar. So we'll be hosting the Ambassador from Peru tomorrow at 8:30. Please pray for us to have the strength to say the "n" word, or the money to buy his stuff in case we end up saying the "y" word.

3) When Turtle finally did wake up this morning, I found him covered in poop. He had such a bad case of diarrhea last night, it leaked out of his diaper and was all over his jammies, sheet and socks. I got him cleaned up enough to get him into the bathtub right away, but that whole area of the house smelled foul for most of the morning. Which leads me to:

4) After acting relatively normally all morning long, and coming with me to the gym, the bank and the store (to pick up an extra crib sheet), Turtle decided to take a turn for the worst by puking all over me. Oh yeah. I was head-to-toe covered in vomit. So now we had one end of the house smelling like dirty diaper and one end of the house smelling like puke. And I couldn't even get a shower until Turtle was cleaned up and put to bed and the house was cleaned up. This is not a glamorous job, people. The only nice thing about this is that we do live in a state in which you can open all the windows in your house at the end of February, and it will actually be WARM in your house by the end of the day, to say nothing of the fact that it will smell better.

5) We've had 132 days without rain. This is a record. We were forecasted to get rain today and then didn't. Do I really need to delineate how depressing that is?

5) Oscar has a deadline on a project due tomorrow and he's struggling. His code is not testing out properly and he's likely destined to be up most of the night working on it. I suppose you could make the argument that this is not my problem, but you don't live with Oscar. Tomorrow, he will be exhausted and cranky, at best. At worst? Well, I don't want to think about that.

On the upside, The Amazing Race's new season premiered tonight. I have so missed that show. The crappy family edition they tried to pawn off on us last season was an unmitigated disaster. Not even I could stomach it after a while and I am so totally TAR's bitch. But we're back to the old rules and with teams of two, and I couldn't be happier. I had to tape it while I was watching it (my kingdom for a TiVo....) because a) I totally need to watch the episode a couple of times just to figure out who these teams are and b) I end up laughing so hard through parts of it, I miss what's going on. Well, and also c) because I always forget to look at Phil's "package" while I'm watching the show the first time around, but my mother-in-law will always comment on it when we rehash the show the next day. And I can't let her think she's alone in her obsession with Phil's crotch. That would just be wrong somehow. But I will say, having watched it through once, already, that I am totally incorporating "Genie Power" into my daily life. That is going to be sweeping the nation soon, and I want to make sure I jump on this one early.