Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A Word About Hair 3

I'm sure you have all been waiting with bated breath to find out if Oscar would get his hair colored when next we visited our fabulously talented stylist. Well, I'll tell you, but first you have to sit through some of my fabulous kid stories. Why? Because this is my blog and I revel in the power! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

So, my oldest nephew is five years old, and as I believe I mentioned, his baby brother was just born a few weeks ago. Mama and Papa Jo, being good grandparents and recognizing that since the siblings are currently sharing a room, Older Nephew was probably not getting much sleep, offered to let him spend some time over the weekend with them. On the way home from picking him up, Mama Jo got to hear all about Older Nephew's new "job." Apparently, my brother and sister-in-law tasked Older Nephew with being a good older brother, being gentle with the new baby, and helping his mommy take good care of the latest addition to their family. He was taking this responsibility very seriously. But Mama Jo looked back at Older Nephew and asked if he would like to do another job for her. She asked if he would be a good grandson, and come over to their house and have lots of fun playing with them and giving them lots of hugs and kisses. Older Nephew considered this for a moment and then very seriously looked at Mama Jo and said, "No. I already have enough to do with one job. I don't think I have time for another one."

I actually told our fabulously talented stylist this story, and after giggling over that with me, she told me a few of her own stories. She has a friend with two children, a girl and a boy, aged 6 and 7, respectively. And apparently, their favorite topics are their boyfriends and girlfriends. Every word out of their mouths is about how "she's my girlfriend" and "he's my boyfriend" and "Susie doesn't HAVE a boyfriend." Their mom finally got so sick of all of this boyfriend and girlfriend talk that she told both kids that she wasn't hearing any of it anymore and they didn't have boyfriends or girlfriends and nobody loved anybody the way Mommy loves Daddy. At which point the boy looks up at his mom and says, "Mommy, I am a MAN, and a man doesn't like to be ALONE!"

Then there's the girl....who is apparently very into fashion and clothes. She came out of her bedroom one morning and announced to her mom that the shirt she was wearing would look much better with white pants. Her mom, having dealt with her daughter enough and just wanting at this point to shut her up (as we parents sometimes do), told her that she didn't want to wear white pants because wearing white pants before Memorial Day simply wasn't done. This was enough to put her off until they were driving one day, and the little girl gasped so loudly that her mom was concerned that she was choking or that they were about to get into an accident. She looked back and asked what the problem was. The little girl said, with a voice full of horror, "Sally wore white pants today." This would have been bad enough, but Sally's mom is apparently a teacher at the girl's school, and the little girl's mom did not want to hear about this whole white pants saga getting back around to Sally or her mom. So she said as much to her daughter, who looked aghast and said, "But, Mommy, she doesn't KNOW!!!!!!"

I love kids. They're so refreshingly forthright.

So, having subjected to you the random stories of the precocious kids I either know or have heard tale about, I will now bore you with the scoop on Oscar's hair. First of all, our stylist started off our appointment gushing about how she had never read a blog before but she read mine. And she was going around telling everyone about how she's famous now. "Someone blogged about me!" She was practically giddy. It was quite adorable. I suppose if I had been in the right frame of mind, I would have told her to comp our haircuts this time around, since I'd given her free advertising. But I didn't think of it until now. (Don't you hate it when your brain is so far behind that you think of the perfect bon mot the NEXT DAY, instead of in the moment when you actually need it? The vagaries of fate....) In any event, she was telling me I should have put her real name in my blog, so she could get more business, but really I know she just wants me to put her name in there so something cool pops up when her name is Googled. So, if you're in the metropolitan Phoenix area and you need a kick-ass hair cut, please go to Moments Salon and ask for Andrea Ball. Tell her I sent you. (If you want to write really bad haikus about her and post them to the internet, just to make sure even more cool stuff pops up when she Googles herself next, that's fine too.)

Anyway, after we got the salutations and blog gushing out of the way, I pulled Andrea a little bit away and under my breath said, "I don't care what Oscar tells you, I don't care what he says, you need to color his hair today." Oh, yeah. That's right, people.....Oscar's albino hairs are no more. His hair is now a touch darker than his usual shade and the little albino hairs appear as slightly lighter colored highlights. But the is gone. And I have to say, as much as I was resistant to him coloring it, it is rather fetching. It's not a huge difference, but it's enough to make Oscar happy. And that's all that really matters to me....Oscar's happiness. Well, Oscar's happiness and making Turtle smile. Okay, maybe Oscar's happiness, making Turtle smile, and really good sushi. Oh, wait. Make that Oscar's happiness, making Turtle smile, really good sushi and Stargate SG-1. But that's all that really matters to me. Really.


At March 24, 2006 10:12 AM, Anonymous Oscar said...

Oh, your boyfriend is so not going to be amused that he didn't make your "happiness" list. :D

At March 24, 2006 12:51 PM, Blogger Raven in NYC (aka Mark) said...

you need to revise the list -- Your happiness isn't on it.

And as far as how I'm feeling about it... I know I don't rate on the real happiness scale... yet. :-D

And Oscar, you lose, because I was gonna say nice things about you and your hair, but your loss. Sucks to be you then!! ;-)

At March 24, 2006 12:52 PM, Blogger Cymber said...

My happiness IS on it. Stargate SG-1 = Cymber's happiness. I'm a simple creature, easily amused.


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