Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Well, Oscar is no longer vomiting, although he is still spending more time in the bathroom than he is in the rest of the house. That is, when he is home. His intestinal issue is certainly no excuse for being absent from work, particularly when there is a crisis of epic proportions brewing in his office. Turtle has decided that the vomiting yesterday was not sufficient to express his dismay about the fact that he is sick again. He has now decided to express himself in a performance art piece he likes to call "Explosive Diarrhea." I would honestly prefer that he find another outlet, but I have to concede that this one is definitely effective in conveying his message. Snark's Mistress has decided that she is definitely suffering from allergies, and with the right medication should be just fine. I will see her tonight (provided Turtle's performance does not dissuade her) for The Amazing Race.

As for me, I am menstrual, my house is a mess, I am not 100% convinced I managed to get Turtle's poop off my hands, despite several washings, my head hurts, I am still in my pajamas at 2:15 in the afternoon, I need to shave, I itch all over from these stupid bug bites, I'm still convinced I have West Nile Virus, I'm stressed because we have no insurance so how can we afford the trip to the hospital when I inevitably collapse from my West Nile Virus, I need to eat, there's nothing I'm interested in eating except brownies, which would be bad, because of the diet and all, but OH DEAR GOD, THE BROWNIES!!!, I am worried I'm not going to get the Boyfriend's birthday presents in the mail in time, I need to do laundry, I've spent too much time on the computer today, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never be SuperMom, and I have to figure out what to do for dinner so I can get something out of the freezer so it has enough time to thaw before I need to do something with it.

And here I told Flip this morning that I thought we were over the worst of it.... I need to learn how to keep my damn mouth shut.


At April 05, 2006 2:38 PM, Anonymous McMama said...

Anybody who can deal with all of this while not eating a brownie and suffering with WNV really is SUPER MOM! Hope you all feel better soon. Love you.

At April 05, 2006 3:28 PM, Blogger Raven in NYC (aka Mark) said...

No Pudge Brownies. Find them. And I agree with McMama.

At April 06, 2006 7:01 AM, Blogger Flip said...

Sorry, didn't mean to be the vehicle for jinxing your situation.

Hope Turtle's bowels have called a cease fire and the explosions have ceased.

Hang in there.


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