Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Friday, May 12, 2006

Come Here! Go Away!

You know what's great? Birthday packages that arrive in the mail. You know what sucks? Not being able to open those birthday packages because not everything in the birthday packages could be wrapped and you're not allowed to see everything until your birthday. You know what's totally cool? A husband who is so completely excited about your birthday, he plans a huge party for you. You know what kind of blows? A husband who is so completely excited about this birthday party he has planned for you that he rubs your nose in the fact that it's a "surpriiiiiiiiiiise" and you can't know anything about it, nanny nanny boo boo. You know what's kind of outstanding? Having a birthday that falls on Mother's Day every few years so nobody can claim, even for a moment, that the day isn't completely about you. You know what's not so outstanding? Having no clear idea how best to take advantage of this twist of fate, and therefore not having any plans other than making your husband fix you breakfast in bed.

You know what's funny? Watching your son watch "Sleeping Beauty" and drag out the swords you bought him from the Renaissance Festival, so he can help Prince Phillip battle Maleficent. You know what's not so funny? Cringing when he hits the tv screen a few times in his earnest attempt to save Sleeping Beauty and wondering if you're going to end up at Best Buy this weekend, buying a new television. You know what's satisfying? Looking in your refrigerator and realizing that it's finally full again, having survived your three-week absence from the grocery store. You know what's not as satisfying? Trying to find something to eat and realizing that even though your refrigerator is full, you have no desire to eat anything in it. You know what's nice? Having your close friend tell you that you look thinner and all of the working out must be paying off. You know what isn't so nice? The fact that you haven't been to the gym all week and have been eating cheese puffs and vanilla soda for breakfast lately, and realizing that the thinner thing isn't going to last.

You know what's fantastic? Having a zillion blogs bookmarked so you always have something new to read when you're on the computer. You know what's annoying? When all of those bloggers decide to take a vacation from writing at the same time, so you just end up banging your head against the desk, praying for new content. You know what's even MORE annoying than THAT? When you can't think of any new content yourself, so you just end up throwing up a point-counterpoint on things that have been on your mind lately and calling it a real post. Hey...at least it's SOMETHING.

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