New Jersey, Part The First

I should have known this trip was going to be a stressful disaster from the moment we landed and had to find our rental car agency. Have you ever BEEN to the Newark airport? It's confusing under the best of circumstances, but when you're tired, and you're towing too much luggage and a 2 1/2 year old who hasn't gotten enough sleep and has had to sit still for 4+ hours, and you aren't really pleased about being there in the first place? It. Sucks. So. Bad.

We had to take the Air Train to another terminal. From there, we had to ask a million people where to find our rental car agency, because despite the many signs pointing us in the direction of this new terminal, once we got inside said terminal, we were lost. Why were we lost, you might ask? Because it was not readily apparent where we had to go next. Why was it not readily apparent where we had to go next, you might then ask? Because DIRECTIONAL SIGNS CEASED TO EXIST IN THIS NEW TERMINAL. But the lack of signs directing us to our rental agency made more sense when I realized that our agency was NOT inside the terminal, as I had been led to believe, but inside a Ramada Inn somewhere nearby. Clue #1 that this trip was going to be filled with unexpected delights.

But hey, we got on the shuttle and made our way to the Ramada Inn. Of course, we made our way there through a long, convoluted path involving getting on a freeway going one direction, only to exit and get on the same freeway going in the other direction, and then get off at an exit and turn onto what I can only assume was the frontage road to yet ANOTHER freeway. Which made me dread the idea of finding this Ramada Inn again when we needed to return the car. (I was right to be afraid, but that's another story.)

Anyway, we got our car, and made the hour-long journey to the Wicked Witch's neighborhood. But before we got there, Mama Jo and I realized how hungry we were. So we found a Quizno's and got lunch/dinner. Lunner? Whatever. In any event, we ate and geared up for what we knew was going to be a long week. Part of that process involved taking advantage of some of the unexpected delights featured at this particular Quizno's. Such as, for example, its proximity to a liquor store. While Mama Jo took Turtle to the drug store to keep him occupied, I wandered in and tried to pick a poison both Mama Jo and I could enjoy.

So, $30, 2 bottles of wine, and a bottle of vanilla vodka later, I walked out and we made our way back to the car. And then? It was time. We couldn't avoid it any longer. It was time to go to the house the Wicked Witch built.