Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


I check my stat counter pretty regularly. I like to see who's dropping by to visit me. Oh, don't panic...I'm not working closely with the federal government or anything so if there's any wire tapping going on in your home, it has nothing to do with me. But I like to see how many people are visiting me in a day and where they're coming from and that sort of thing.

The most fascinating part about that is finding out what people are typing into search engines in order to get to my little corner of the blogosphere. Usually, it's just a one or two word phrase, like "married boyfriend" or "epileptic ducky." But yesterday, a really interesting search string led to my blog. It was "Deedee nude Doodlebops." I was trying to figure out what would possess someone to do a search on something like that. The only thing that I could figure out that made sense was if someone was looking for a picture of Deedee without her makeup. Well....that's the only SANE thing I could figure out. The alternative is a little scary to contemplate.

First of all, strip poor Deedee nude, and all of a sudden you've entered into some weird universe inhabited by caricatures, because that hair is going to make her head look obscenely large for her body. At least with clothes on, the A-line of the dress she's wearing somewhat offsets the poofiness of that cotton candy hair. Take that away, and she's going to look like a bobble-head. And she's already scary enough with pink skin. (Apropos of nothing, I had a dream several years ago that I was performing cunnilingus on a woman with gray, clammy skin and no hair....anywhere. I wasn't sure which was more disturbing: the fact that I'm a heterosexual woman and never really considered performing cunnilingus before having this dream, or the fact that when I DID end up performing cunnilingus in my dream, the woman had gray, clammy skin and no hair.) (Was that an over-share? I'm never sure about these things....) Secondly, she's a character in a childrens' show! On the Disney channel! Is anyone else getting an "ick" factor from the idea of seeing a Disney character naked? Because I am. I see her every morning, entertaining my kid. Turtle dances along with her and sticks a crayon in my face to use as a microphone, demanding that I sing just like Deedee. Seeing her naked would be like watching my best friend have sex. I just don't need to be a part of that.

But that's not to say that I judge. If you are here because you happened to type something unusual into a search engine, well, I'm just happy you're here. And I promise I won't mock you for your interest in seeing Disney characters nude. Unless of course, I have a weird dream I want to discuss, but there's not enough material there for a full blog post. Then I'll just use you to pad my story. But I'll still be glad you stopped by.


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