Preoccupation

The last two nights when I've gone to bed, I've felt a little twinge of guilt because I haven't posted anything. It's not that I've been too busy, and it's not that I haven't had anything to write about. Although I have been busy, and I've been doing the sorts of day to day things one doesn't find interesting to write about. Honestly, though, the thing that's holding me back from tap-tap-tapping away on my keyboard has been my preoccupation with my upcoming vacation.

My mind, which is normally bent on finding things about which to rant and rave (sometimes even coherently), has instead been mulling over such thrilling subjects as: what to pack, what McMama and I are going to do with ourselves for the week and a half before Oscar gets there, and how many times I can afford to go to Dunkin Donuts to get coffee in the morning. And while these subjects are of no end of interest to McMama and me, I get infinitely more pleasure out of calling her on a daily basis to discuss my latest thoughts on these subjects than I do by committing them to the screen. Besides, why bore you with endless chatter about my vacation, when I can bore her instead?

Of course, not all of my absence over the last two days can be blamed on thoughts of whether I should pack two pairs of jeans or just one. There is also the little matter of being thoroughly and completely exhausted. Too many late nights in a row, coupled with the occasional glass of wine (I am a cheap date) led to significant writers' block. Which is sad, actually, because there have been many subjects rolling around in my head about which I've considered ranting. For example, Oscar and I were watching some really bad porn the other night, and it occurred to me what a fine line porn walks between too much talking/not enough sex and not enough talking/too much sex. (Although, as Snark's Mistress so brilliantly pointed out, if you're going to err one way or the other, the safer bet seems to be to err in favor of the latter scenario.) Or the fact that I watched Turtle along with two other boys on Friday (aged 5 and 4 months) and how I could have handled any combination of two boys, but the third just overwhelmed me. Or the new blog that I started reading that made me both nod my head in total agreement and want to slap the hell out of the author for being such a selfish moron.

Anyway, I'm trying a new experiment this week that I'm hoping will clear my mind a little bit and allow me to get back into my daily updating groove. I'm only keeping my computer on for an hour in the morning. And I won't turn it on again until either the Turtle is napping or he's gone to bed for the evening. There are a ton of things I've felt compelled to do lately, but none of it has gotten done, because I compulsively hit refresh on my blogs, hoping that somebody will have updated in the last 30 seconds. I'm hoping that by putting the computer away for a while, I'll have a chance to be more present in my life, and therefore will have more to discuss, and therefore will find it easier to update more regularly.

Either that, or I'll just end up giving you a blow-by-blow of my packing experience. Whatever works.