Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Monday, June 05, 2006

Things That Annoy Me

In no particular order:

1) If you're responsible for checking my groceries and I'm trying to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, or, frankly, even when I'm not, I honestly do not need to hear how your break was only 15 minutes today and all you've had to eat since you started work was two candy bars, and you can't wait for your shift to be over. I understand that you do not have the most fascinating job in all the world, and it probably helps to pass the time when you chit-chat with your bagger while scanning my foodstuffs, but really. I. Do. Not. Care. I just want you to scan my groceries as efficiently as possible so I can pay you and go home. You're wasting my time.

2) Conversely, if I'm behind you in line and you have approached the checkout while carrying on a cell phone conversation, and you do not have the decency to end your phone call once you hit the front of the line and are required to interact with your grocery clerk? I will be cursing you silently under my breath because you? Are rude. He may be a grocery clerk, but he is deserving of your respect. His job allows you to go home with your arugula and your tofutti. He does not need to hear about how Betty is a big fat cow who thinks she knows everything and have you heard she's cheating on Bob...I always knew she was a slut. You are wasting HIS time. The least you can do is tell the person on the other end of the phone to hold on while you deal with your transaction. This is what polite people do.

3) If you are having problems with your significant other and need some time away to lick your wounds/clear your head/calm your emotions and you do not return after a maximum of 24 hours to deal with your shit? You are not a grown up and your significant other is well within her rights to dump your sorry ass. Grown ups suck it up and deal with things, even when they are uncomfortable or painful. This is how the world works. Learn it, live it, love it.

4) If you're the president, and your approval rating is in the toilet, and you need to figure out how to get your numbers up before mid-term elections so your party doesn't completely tank, and you decide it might be a good idea to bring up this whole gay marriage ban thing again? You are a tool. That is called "writing discrimination into the Constitution" which is, say it with me, folks, "a very bad thing." Besides, don't you have better things to worry about? Like, perhaps, the war you dragged us into? The one that left a friend of mine minus an arm and a leg? Right...why don't you spend more time on that instead of worrying about how to create more trouble for ordinary citizens who just want to be able to share the same rights and privileges as every other heterosexual American? That would be great, thanks.


Post a Comment

<< Home