Why Disney Would Never Hire Me

So, I had Playhouse Disney on this morning for the Turtle while I made his favorite breakfast, pancakes. In between pouring batter on the griddle, I eavesdropped on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I'm not completely positive of the storyline because I wasn't that invested in it, but it seemed as though Goofy reminded Mickey that it was Valentine's Day when he brought the Eared One a special Valentine's Day gift. The problem was that Mickey didn't have anything to give Minnie, and Valentine's Day is ostensibly her favorite holiday. I'm guessing Donald didn't have anything for Daisy, either, because the show revolved around Mickey and Donald trying to find something to give their sweethearts in honor of the occasion.

At the end of the episode, Mickey and Donald found appropriate gifts and Minnie and Daisy were thrilled. It was a nicely wrapped happy ending. But here's the thing: as I'm flipping my pancakes, I'm thinking how much more awesome it would have been if Minnie said, "Dude, it's not Valentine's Day. Are you feeling okay?" and sent Mickey to the doctor to have his head examined. And if the doctor was some sort of malicious evil-doer and totally faked a brain tumor and subsequent death for Mickey so he could use the Eared One as a lab rat in his chemical warfare experiments? I would TOTALLY watch THAT show. And that is why the Disney corporation would never hire me.