Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

My Fine Is $215 $240

I found this over on the 'Til The Cows Come Home blog and it amused me so much I thought I should reproduce it. I'm a little tentative about posting my fine, because I have a feeling people will either look at it and think "Holy Shit, this woman is sheltered" or "Holy Shit, what a whore." Neither of which is particularly accurate. But I'm throwing it out there anyway because I have no shame.

I'm not 100% positive I have correctly tallied my fine, either. Mostly because only Alzheimers' patients have worse memories than I do. But I did my best. Those of you who know me can feel free to check my math.

Edited to add: Oscar finally got around to reading this post and reminded me of a little something he and I did that upped my fine another $25. Not that it matters, because compared to you guys, I'm a frickin' vestal virgin. But lest I be accused of down-playing my dark underbelly, I thought a revision was in order.

Here’s how it works: You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. (Not per incident!) Tally up your score and post it on your blog with the title… "My Fine Is…”

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

How much have you been set back?


At January 24, 2007 3:26 PM, Blogger Hotass said...

Thank you, thankyouvermuch

At January 24, 2007 4:47 PM, Blogger Spider said...

$860.60... I am SO going to hell -how is THAT for a first post on your blog!

At January 25, 2007 9:47 AM, Blogger Paul said...

I do believe that you're sheltered.

At January 25, 2007 10:08 AM, Anonymous Oscar said...

Now I wonder if I'll have any explaining to do?

At January 25, 2007 10:11 AM, Anonymous McMama said...

OK just a rough estimate of $11,849. It was the 70's. The amount may be a little higher as many things I've forgotten because I burned out too many brain cells! Really, the 70's.

At January 25, 2007 12:23 PM, Blogger Lunatic Wife said...

$530! That's what growing up unsupervised will do to you!

At January 26, 2007 10:24 AM, Blogger Raven in NYC (aka Mark) said...


I think there are some people lying about the cents.

At January 26, 2007 10:30 AM, Blogger Raven in NYC (aka Mark) said...

p.s. McMama. There is no excuse needed. Embrace it. Heck, I think I respect you even more and you're already held in very high esteem on this end of things!

At February 01, 2007 5:47 PM, Blogger country girl said...

I would be a lot higher if you had to count each time you peed in the pool.
$220.50. I grew up in the 60s so obviously I was pretty boring and predictable. Maybe next time around.


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