Girly Things

I'm a bad girl. No, not in THAT way. Well, okay, YES, in that way, but that's not what I'm talking about right now. I mean I'm not particularly girly. I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion. I don't keep up on the fashion world. I am more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than a dress and pumps. I like action movies as much as (and sometimes more than) I like romantic comedies. I never ask for directions, preferring instead to wander around enjoying the scenery until I stumble upon my destination. I'm just not really good at a lot of the things that you would traditionally associate with my gender.

However.

I saw a pair of shoes today that made my girly little heart sing with joy. So, I'm going to show them to you, but if you are so overwhelmed by the cuteness of these shoes (which is pretty much a given) that you want to get them yourself, you have to check with me first, or I will assume you are Single White Female-ing me. Ready?


From Zappos, with love.

God, aren't they precious? I can hardly stand it. Now, I normally wouldn't even consider spending that kind of money on such an impractical shoe, but would you just look at them? They need a good home. And I have a good home. It wouldn't be right if I didn't open up my heart and my closet to a pair of shoes so clearly in need of some adoration and a complementary outfit.

Not only that, but I found this at Target:


Look! My shoes could totally make friends with this purse, don't you think? They would totally have sleepovers and eat too much Ben and Jerry's and talk about the boys they like and whether or not they're ready for a red and white polka-dotted bra yet! Don't you think? And I would look so cute and cha-cha and sassy and young and free while wearing my cute shoes and purse, wouldn't I? Instead of tired and worn-out and fried and haggard and soccer mom-ish. Not that my kid plays soccer yet. He's too busy shooting dinosaurs and sneaking his binky out of his room so he can steal a quick suckle or two before I bust him, like a smoker stealing a puff or two from his cigarette. But that's neither here nor there.

So I'm totally going to buy these shoes and quite possibly this purse. And you will know when I am wearing them because I will totally be strutting around town with my shoes and quite possibly the purse with "Stayin' Alive" on a constant loop in my brain. Because for some reason, when I strut, I always strut to that song. What? You mean you don't? I can only imagine that's because you have never tried it before. Go ahead. Stand up. Now start singing "Well you can tell by the way I use my walk/I'm a woman's man; no time to talk." Are you strutting yet? You should be. Maybe you need some new shoes.