Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Double Points If It's Chocolate

There is one thing I didn't take into account when I decided that it was time to level our yard and start from scratch: the overgrown shrubs and trees did provide quite a bit of shade to the front of the house. Why is this important? Well, aside from the fact that the shade did help a bit to keep the electric bill a little lower while we attempted to cool the house down from "broiling," the overgrown tree in front of Turtle's room, in particular, was of assistance when it came to regulating the amount of light that entered his room in the morning. Why is THAT important? Well, apparently my child is a little sensitive to light. So with that tree gone and the summer upon us, his morning wake up call has been coming earlier and earlier each passing morning.

This morning, Turtle woke me up at 5:55. In the morning. Did I mention it was early? In the morning? He walked into our bedroom with a big grin and a "Good morning, Mommy" and an "It's not early! It's bright out!" To which Mommy responded by rolling over, looking at the time, wincing and saying "Oh, you have GOT to be KIDDING." I mean, the kid had a point: It was indeed bright out. But the logic that got him from Point A) it is light out, to Point B) therefore, it is not early, was lacking in a certain je ne sais quoi. So, swallowing a sigh, I sent him back to bed, and to his credit, he actually went. But it did cause some discussion between Oscar and me about how to rectify this little problem we're having with the sun. And the son.

Toward the middle of the afternoon, after dragging Turtle around the mall in an effort to drain any last bits of energy he had before shipping him off for a nap, I decided that there was really only one option at this point: taping aluminum foil to the windows.

I can hear McMama laughing already. See, the last time we went to New York for a visit, we had to tape aluminum foil to the windows for the same reason. And it was particularly necessary there because of the three hour time difference. So the big joke during our visit was that Turtle and I were turning McMama and Company into drug dealers, cooking up meth in their upstairs bedroom, and whatever would the neighbors think?

Of course, here, it's a different story. Our neighbors already assume we're drug dealers. After letting the yard get all overgrown and nasty, and never introducing ourselves, and having a couple different people (like Hotass and Snark's Mistress) come and go, letting themselves in with their own keys, we figure our neighbors have already ratted us out to local law enforcement. So I'm not expecting too much trouble now that we've put tin foil on one of the bedroom windows. They probably figure it's par for the course.

In fact, I'm hoping that maybe with this latest development, our neighbors will start bringing over baked goods, in an effort to win us over and score some deals on some really good shit. I think I'm going to hold out for a cheesecake. Cookies and brownies are all well and good, but I can make those. No, to get the really good shit, you need to bust out the big guns. And nothing says "Be my supplier of illegal narcotics" quite like a homemade cheesecake. Wouldn't you agree?


At June 01, 2007 11:05 AM, Blogger Hotass said...

You could try the less ghetto approach and install a window shade.

And are you suggesting that Snark's Mistress and I look the types to frequent a drug den? A brothel, perhaps ...

At June 01, 2007 10:00 PM, Blogger dykewife said...

like hotass said, window shade, blinds work ok too, but a blind with a silver backing will also help reflect heat out of the house and keep his room cooler thus sparing you some of the cost of a high electrical bill. also, a shade will enable you to, you know, let light in when you want it without giving the alcan aluminum company more to give their stockholders.

At June 09, 2007 4:07 AM, Blogger mama o' the matrices said...

Hmm. Based on my response to cheesecake, I'd already classified it as a dangerous narcotic.

Ya got me. My current approach to window-dressing is to watch the ancient blinds fall out of the windows and say things like, 'Huh. We should do something about that sometime,' while the Man mutters something about making our mortgage payment in the background.


Post a Comment

<< Home