Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Monday, May 07, 2007

No, Really, The Hangover Lasted Four Days

Okay, first of all, what is the point of going to the nice little local coffee shop with the free wireless connection if the free wireless connection isn't working? For THIS, I ordered a fatty, sugary, coffee-y concoction that is so very clearly NOT on the diet plan? I think not.

So. Where were we? Oh. OH! My night out with Hotass. Well, let's see. We ate some sushi. We saw Dirty Dancing in the theaters and clapped with the rest of the audience when Patrick Swayze managed to say "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" with a straight face. We talked about what it would have been like if Samuel L. Jackson had been cast as Johnny Castle. "Nobody puts motherf***in' Baby in a motherf***in' corner, motherf***ers!" We laughed uproariously at that, because we are losers who find ourselves entirely too amusing for our own good. And then we went drinking. And oh my, did we drink.

Now, I'm not usually a drinker. One glass of wine is usually enough to get me to start taking clothes off, and much more than that, and you'll find me passed out in a corner, drooling on your nice carpet. But considering my life lately, a night of drunken debauchery seemed in order, so drunkenly debauch we did.

So let me start by saying that the disadvantage to going to bars where Hotass is well known was that all the regulars came over to talk to and flirt with Hotass, leaving her loser friend (that would be me) twiddling her thumbs and wondering what it was going to take to get a cute boy to flirt with her. After all, I was already showing my cleavage off to its best advantage and I was wearing the do-me heels. Has the bar scene really degenerated to the point that I have to flash my perfectly shaved private bits before I can get someone to talk to me? Methinks I'm too old for this crap....

On the other hand, going to bars where Hotass is well known did mean that we had our drinks poured strong and some of those boys who came over to talk to and flirt with Hotass were also buying. Which I guess was an advantage, considering the whole "drunken debauchery" goal. So. We drank a lot. A LOT. And for someone who is not used to drinking (that would be me), it meant a lot of wobbly trips to the bathroom and a lot of the world swaying while I tried desperately to stand still. And copious giggling. And then more wobbly trips to the bathroom because they aren't kidding about alcohol being a diuretic.

So of course, the next day, I paid for my night of excess in that it felt like my whole body was made of cotton. I managed to avoid a massively debilitating hangover by alternating my Reeses Peanut Butter shots with glasses of ice water, but I'm not going to lie and tell you that I remained unaffected. Instead I will just say that wow, they aren't kidding about alcohol being a depressant, either. I was extraordinarily unmotivated the day after. Which just made me wonder how people do this on a regular basis. Not that I'm looking to make a habit of it, myself, but it would be nice if anyone had tips they could give me about how to drink like a fish without feeling a half a step behind the rest of the universe the next day. Unless the tip is "don't drink so much, dumbass," in which case, I figured that part out, thanks.

But all in all, it was a really fun night and I'm glad Hotass and I had a chance to connect and do something like that, because breaking into her social calendar often takes an act of God. In whom I don't really believe, so you can imagine how well that turns out. Looks like that sacrificial goat was worth it, after all.


At May 07, 2007 10:35 PM, Blogger Mandi said...

ah, yes, the hang over.

I am not familiar with this particular afliction, as I have never had one. I HAVE gotten drunk, but never suffered the next day. I think the trick is KEEP EATING... ALL NIGHT.

Freelancer gets hung over, but not the typical kind. He says he feels fine, but his attitude sucks and he's super crabby.

At May 08, 2007 7:39 PM, Blogger dykewife said...

yes, keeping hydrated is important. if you're not nauseated the next morning, protein is a good thing. oh, and take some aspirin/advil/tylenol (whichever is your preference) before going to bed. alas, there's not a whole lot you can do other than to let your body detox in the time it takes to detox itself.

At May 10, 2007 11:50 AM, Blogger Hotass said...

I would like to apologize, AGAIN, for you feeling left out -- had I been more sober I would've realized you were twiddling your thumbs when, in fact, I thought you were right along with the conversations. Wow.

Reese's Peanut Butter CUP shots, girl -- the chocolate is an important component.

I'm not THAT busy .... ok maybe I am.

At May 14, 2007 5:59 PM, Blogger Nate said...

Hey dykewife-
Skip the tylenol- Advil is for drinking. Tylenol has this funny thing they don't like to talk about - When taken with alcohol over a long haul it erodes the liver.


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