Just Call Me A Terrible Mother And Get It Over With

I have a confession to make. I haven't taken Turtle to see the doctor in over 2 years. He's behind on his vaccinations and I have NO idea where he falls in the height/weight percentiles. And while part of that is because we did not have insurance for a long stretch between his birth and now, I can't really use that excuse now that we've had health insurance for going on a year. No, the reason he hasn't been to the doctor lately has more to do with me than it has to do with insurance.

I haven't wanted to take him in to see the doctor in the last year because I didn't want to have to deal with the "Why has it been so long since your last appointment?" questions. We did not have a great relationship with Turtle's first pediatrician and had JUST found a new pediatrician when we started having insurance issues. So I don't have that trusting relationship with my child's doctor, yet, that gives me the confidence to walk in with my kid, who is majorly overdue for his vaccines, and NOT feel like the Worst. Mother. EVER! I have a hard enough time admitting to a bunch of virtual strangers that my child has not been to the doctor because I'm selfish enough to not want to deal with potential (not certain, but potential) judgment and I don't even have to look you guys in the eyes.

(Gawd, I suck.)

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I decided that I needed to stop hiding from this, because despite the fact that my kid has been (thankfully!) very healthy, at some point I AM going to want to ship him off to school and his little immunization record will need to be filled out appropriately. So Oscar and I had the "we, at some point, or maybe I should say 'you' because I'm not sure I want to be the one to make this call, should probably consider making Turtle a doctor's appointment for some future date when I can maybe handle this a little better" conversation. And because I'm an idiot, of course Turtle heard this whole conversation, which led to another whole conversation with Turtle.

"Who's going to the doctor, Mommy? Who's going?"
"You are, buddy. Mommy needs to take you to see the doctor."
"Is he going to look at my owies?"
(Thinking that if that's the way he best understands it, this might just be the easiest conversation ever:) "Yes."
"Oh BOY!"

Since then, Turtle has periodically reminded me that he was going to the doctor so the doctor could look at his owies. Of course, this naturally resulted in my feeling pressured by my THREE YEAR OLD to do the right thing, suck it up, and make the damn call to get him an appointment. But I still resisted. I am apparently not so great a mom that my child's needs supercede my own yet.

(Gawd, I really really suck.)

Then, today, I was sitting at the dining room table, babysitting a print job for Oscar when Turtle walked into the kitchen, picked up his phone and had the following conversation:

"Doctor? I have owies. You come over tonight and look at them? Oh yeah? Okay. Thanks. You're the best, best ever."

He has an appointment for next Tuesday morning.