Are You KIDDING Me With This???

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Welcome Back

Um, hi. I have no idea if anyone is still checking in here, though I presume some people still stop by occasionally, as an anonymous commenter left a note a month or so back wondering if I was still alive. And since I asked around and none of the people I know intimately even remembered I had a blog, I figure it must be someone I DON’T know who is gently encouraging me to update you on things. So buckle up, because it’s been an interesting few months.





….Um, yeah. I’m not quite sure where to start. So let’s start with now, shall we?

So, I have a job. Actually, it’s my second job Post-Toddler. My first job was doing overnight stocking at Target, which was a much better job than I originally thought it would be, but did not pay adequately to support a family of three with a mortgage payment. And since Oscar had lost his job* in October and was having a hard time finding work again, I clearly needed something that paid better.

Thankfully, the universe threw an opportunity in my lap and instead of staring at it and saying “ooh, shiny!” I actually picked it up and ran with it. So I now have a job at a larger corporation that has some relationship to the healthcare industry and am currently embroiled in a very long training process, the bright side of which is that I am actually enjoying myself.

But I digress. In the course of getting everything set up at my shiny new job, I have had to call tech support a number of times to deal with various and assorted computer issues. And when I call tech support, they invariably ask me for my computer’s full name. I didn’t realize at first that my computer HAD a name. I’d just been calling it “the computer,” which must have seemed extraordinarily rude. I mean, imagine if someone you didn’t know just came up to you and said, “Hello, Other Humanoid Life Form.” You wouldn’t feel too good about that, would you? I know I wouldn’t.

Anyway, these people at tech support have been very nice about walking me through the process of figuring out what my computer’s name is each time I call, which is really unnecessary, frankly, because I had the process down after the first time, but whatever makes them feel better and gets me the help I need is fine by me, I suppose. But I digress again. My computer’s name is actually this really long technical description that includes my company’s name as well as a number, which I’m sure is the key identifier of my little technological friend. It’s just that it seems so impersonal. I mean, I’m on my computer all day long, now. I caress the keys and point out things on the monitor. I even rest my legs on the CPU. In short, my computer is more than a computer. It’s practically part of the family.

So when my boss’s boss e-mailed our team and asked for the names of all of our computers today, my response was as follows:

Hi Boss’s Boss,

My computer's name is, though it prefers to be called Bob. Thanks.


If I’m not fired before I complete my training, I will consider it a personal victory.

*Oh, did I not mention that? Yeah, that’s reason #1 that I haven’t been around much lately. Don’t be surprised if my idea of an update means casually dropping bombs like that randomly into conversation. It helps me know you’re paying attention.


At April 02, 2008 2:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to see you are back... I am your "anonymous" admirer. Can't wait to read more postings. I guess now that baseball is back, you are back in the posting mood.

At April 02, 2008 8:51 PM, Blogger Karen said...

We are listening through RSS ;)

Tell Bob that cutie pie (my first project at my place of employment) and sexy bitch (a project I'm probably not allowed to talk about) say hello.

At April 02, 2008 9:47 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

I thought my rss reader was wrong for a minute, but no- you're actually here!

welcome back!

At April 03, 2008 7:40 AM, Blogger Raven in NYC (aka Mark) said...

Yes sir indeed.... I've missed you.

At April 03, 2008 2:29 PM, Blogger Flip said...

Really happy to see you back.

Hugz to you and yours.


At April 03, 2008 4:13 PM, Blogger dykewife said...

welcome back! working and paying bills is a good thing. i'm hoping to get the job i'll be interviewing for tomorrow. it'd be a nice thing.

i look forward to your bombs.

At April 04, 2008 2:55 PM, Anonymous McMama said...

You're back! McMama is doing a little happy dance!!!!


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