Welcome Back

Um, hi. I have no idea if anyone is still checking in here, though I presume some people still stop by occasionally, as an anonymous commenter left a note a month or so back wondering if I was still alive. And since I asked around and none of the people I know intimately even remembered I had a blog, I figure it must be someone I DON’T know who is gently encouraging me to update you on things. So buckle up, because it’s been an interesting few months.

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….Um, yeah. I’m not quite sure where to start. So let’s start with now, shall we?

So, I have a job. Actually, it’s my second job Post-Toddler. My first job was doing overnight stocking at Target, which was a much better job than I originally thought it would be, but did not pay adequately to support a family of three with a mortgage payment. And since Oscar had lost his job* in October and was having a hard time finding work again, I clearly needed something that paid better.

Thankfully, the universe threw an opportunity in my lap and instead of staring at it and saying “ooh, shiny!” I actually picked it up and ran with it. So I now have a job at a larger corporation that has some relationship to the healthcare industry and am currently embroiled in a very long training process, the bright side of which is that I am actually enjoying myself.

But I digress. In the course of getting everything set up at my shiny new job, I have had to call tech support a number of times to deal with various and assorted computer issues. And when I call tech support, they invariably ask me for my computer’s full name. I didn’t realize at first that my computer HAD a name. I’d just been calling it “the computer,” which must have seemed extraordinarily rude. I mean, imagine if someone you didn’t know just came up to you and said, “Hello, Other Humanoid Life Form.” You wouldn’t feel too good about that, would you? I know I wouldn’t.

Anyway, these people at tech support have been very nice about walking me through the process of figuring out what my computer’s name is each time I call, which is really unnecessary, frankly, because I had the process down after the first time, but whatever makes them feel better and gets me the help I need is fine by me, I suppose. But I digress again. My computer’s name is actually this really long technical description that includes my company’s name as well as a number, which I’m sure is the key identifier of my little technological friend. It’s just that it seems so impersonal. I mean, I’m on my computer all day long, now. I caress the keys and point out things on the monitor. I even rest my legs on the CPU. In short, my computer is more than a computer. It’s practically part of the family.

So when my boss’s boss e-mailed our team and asked for the names of all of our computers today, my response was as follows:

Hi Boss’s Boss,

My computer's name is 123456789.whereIwork.com, though it prefers to be called Bob. Thanks.

-Cymber

If I’m not fired before I complete my training, I will consider it a personal victory.

*Oh, did I not mention that? Yeah, that’s reason #1 that I haven’t been around much lately. Don’t be surprised if my idea of an update means casually dropping bombs like that randomly into conversation. It helps me know you’re paying attention.